Happy New Year My Friend

May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs and
your stocks not fall; and may your blood pressure,
your triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white
blood count and your mortgage interest not rise.


May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist,
your cardiologist, your gastro-enterologist, your urologist,
your proctologist, your podiatrist, your psychiatrist and
your plumber.


May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what
others see in you delight them. May someone love you
enough to forgive your faults, be blind to your blemishes,
and tell the world about your virtues.


May New Year's Eve find you seated around the table,
together with your beloved family and cherished friends.
May you find the food better, the environment quieter,
the cost much cheaper, and the pleasure much more
fulfilling than anything else you might ordinarily do that night.


May the telemarketers wait to make their sales calls until
you finish dinner, may the commercials on TV not be
louder than the program you have been watching,
and may your check book and your budget balance - and
include generous amounts for charity.


May you remember to say "I love you" at least once a day
to your spouse, your child, your parent, your siblings;
but not to your secretary, your nurse, your masseuse,
your hairdresser or your tennis instructor.